I emailed Comcast with a minor complaint and this is the bloated and useless response I received.
Thank you for contacting Comcast Cable Email Support.
I thank you for allowing me this opportunity to assist you. Kevin, as
your service representative today, I want you to know that your
satisfaction is of my topmost priority. Our goal is to provide our
customers with the most effective possible support. I will be more than
happy to assist you with your concern. Rest assured that I will address
your concerns as quickly as possible.
I understand your concern regarding the program available for channel
416. Kevin, I can understand why you would be upset, I would feel the
same way if I was in the situation you are in. I sincerely apologize for
the inconvenience this has caused you. Rest assured that your concern
will be taken care of and I will be providing you with the best possible
resolution to your concern in this email response.
Kevin, we need to hear about any unsatisfactory situations in order to
correct them and to enhance our level of customer service. I have
forwarded your comments to the appropriate members of our development
and management teams for further review and action. We appreciate that
you took the time to help us keep our commitment to quality customer
To send comment, suggestions, or feedback, you can also go to:
Thank you for your patience and understanding as we address your
concerns. If you have any more questions feel free to reply to this
Kevin, I thank you that you took time out from your busy schedule to
share your concerns. We continue to strive for complete customer
satisfaction so your feedback is valuable to us. In addition to
providing you with the latest and greatest products, we want to ensure
that you are satisfied with our services. It is a pleasure assisting you
and resolving your issue today. We appreciate that you have chosen
Comcast as your service provider and we thank you for your business.
Thank you for bringing Comcast into your home. Comcast appreciates your
business and values you as a customer. Our goal is to provide you with
excellent service. If you need further assistance, please do not
hesitate to contact us at:
Customer Support (24 hour a day, 7 days a week):
Phone Support (office hours only):
We hope to do business with you again. Have a great day and take care.
Comcast Customer Care Specialist
That is the longest email about nothing that gets absolutely zero accomplished I have ever read. Talk about trying to make sure I feel good about complaining. What a joke.